Though I am by myself
You are always with me

My shadow had taken shape of your own

The silence loudly leads me down long winding paths deep
The darkest crevices of my troubled mind

The more I veer to avoid pull attempting to navigate thoughts to a happier place
Faster I race to the opposite destination
Location I have grown to rightfully hate

Why must memory torture me so?

I wish I could harness control

I long to shrug off my shoulders like a coat two sizes too big

Heavy
Unbecoming

But you stick tighter to my body than my very own skin

Take more space in my veins than my blood

Your life holds far more importance than the pathetic one I endure myself every day

I bottle emotions up
Learned that from you

I know that is not healthy but since you are never going to get better there is no point in me getting well either

It appears to be working swell for you so why not give it a shot?

Being a 20-something year old crybaby sure was not doing me any favors

Only still am an emotional wreck
I am a little more fluent in composure now

So writhe on the inside instead

A blank expression while war rages within

Morals and values defending self-esteem as best as they can from attacks from demons with their most powerful weapons
Doubt
Degredation

Battleground foggy with lies you said
Bombs exploding with the sound of laughter
Smelling gunpowder from the fireworks set off just by merely visualizing your face

A whole ****** battle concealed by layers of makeup and brushed brunette hair

And worst thing about this isn't even the casualties

It's that you are not even worth the fight