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Jan 2021
I just want to say I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for the way I act at times.
I'm sorry for the things that I say that I don't mean.
I'm sorry that I act like I don't care even though deep down inside, I really do.
I'm sorry for the ways I feel things too much.
I'm sorry if you find me so difficult.
I'm sorry that sometimes I struggle to say how I really feel.
I'm sorry that I turned out the way I never wanted to.
I'm sorry that I get so scared of being left behind.
I'm sorry I push the ones I love the most, far away at times.
I'm sorry that I get so vulnerable, that I can't control my feelings even if I wanted to.
I'm sorry if I hurt you without meaning to.
I'm sorry that I get so angry without knowing why.
I'm sorry if sometimes I cry for no reason, I just don't know why.
I'm sorry I feel things more strongly than others do.
I'm sorry I still struggle inside my mind, I'm trying my best to be better I promise you.
I'm sorry I'm still battling the same demons years down the line.
I'm sorry I let them win and let them get to me sometimes.
I'm sorry for all the hurt and the problems that I've caused.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to be like this at all.
I'm sorry if sometimes you want to get away from me.
I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like I didn't want you around.
I'm sorry my mind is so messed up at times.
I'm sorry if sometimes the things I say sound like a web of lies.


I never wanted to be like this I promise you.
I never wanted to feel like a burden to people, I guess it's nothing new.
I never wanted to push anyone away, but sometimes my fears get ahold of me and I can't stop myself from hiding away in the dark corners of my mind.
These feelings I have are not normal I know.
Sometimes the rage builds up so fast inside me, I feel like I would explode into a million pieces.
The past keeps coming back to haunt me no matter where I go.
That face of evil, grinning, smiling and laughing at me in the dark. Reminding me of the horrors I've tried to leave behind closed doors.
I'm sorry I'm a walking, talking, disaster and mess.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry I sometimes wished I never existed at all.
I'm sorry for saying sorry so many times, I guess sometimes I just need to apologise at least 100 times, to make me realise just how much the ones I love really matter to me deep down inside.
Written by
Its-me-your-broken-demons92  28/F/South of England
(28/F/South of England)   
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