I just want to say I'm sorry... I'm sorry for the way I act at times. I'm sorry for the things that I say that I don't mean. I'm sorry that I act like I don't care even though deep down inside, I really do. I'm sorry for the ways I feel things too much. I'm sorry if you find me so difficult. I'm sorry that sometimes I struggle to say how I really feel. I'm sorry that I turned out the way I never wanted to. I'm sorry that I get so scared of being left behind. I'm sorry I push the ones I love the most, far away at times. I'm sorry that I get so vulnerable, that I can't control my feelings even if I wanted to. I'm sorry if I hurt you without meaning to. I'm sorry that I get so angry without knowing why. I'm sorry if sometimes I cry for no reason, I just don't know why. I'm sorry I feel things more strongly than others do. I'm sorry I still struggle inside my mind, I'm trying my best to be better I promise you. I'm sorry I'm still battling the same demons years down the line. I'm sorry I let them win and let them get to me sometimes. I'm sorry for all the hurt and the problems that I've caused. I'm sorry I didn't mean to be like this at all. I'm sorry if sometimes you want to get away from me. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like I didn't want you around. I'm sorry my mind is so messed up at times. I'm sorry if sometimes the things I say sound like a web of lies.
I never wanted to be like this I promise you. I never wanted to feel like a burden to people, I guess it's nothing new. I never wanted to push anyone away, but sometimes my fears get ahold of me and I can't stop myself from hiding away in the dark corners of my mind. These feelings I have are not normal I know. Sometimes the rage builds up so fast inside me, I feel like I would explode into a million pieces. The past keeps coming back to haunt me no matter where I go. That face of evil, grinning, smiling and laughing at me in the dark. Reminding me of the horrors I've tried to leave behind closed doors. I'm sorry I'm a walking, talking, disaster and mess. I just wanted to say I'm sorry I sometimes wished I never existed at all. I'm sorry for saying sorry so many times, I guess sometimes I just need to apologise at least 100 times, to make me realise just how much the ones I love really matter to me deep down inside.