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Jan 2021
Test director
Follow the vector
My mind is a spectre
It flys through the walls
Here it coming
The sound of it crawling
I juggle addictions
And don't drop the ball
Im misguided
Listened to wisdom
I swear I've been taught this
Then forgot it all
I've decided
To be undecided
Red or the blue pill
I wont make the call


Slowly down this precipice I pray I never fall
Only when there's none to give does heaven start to call
Forced into indifference like I forgot it all


Words strung together like the blessing of the ancient ones who's will was turned to stone and drafted on the cosmic slate of demon bones


Lofty shroud of ignorance that graces round the throne, screamingΒ Β that I'm lonely y now when I possess a phone


Exiled from my own mistakes, my past once felt like home, but now feels foreign to the touch as memories dance across my brain I crave the numbness in my veins


I've grown so much but still fear pain, I know there's cost, yet seldom pay, I yearn for freedom as a slave, I feel so lost but know the way


I seek the steps that I should take
But all my worry seems so fake
I beg, I ask for help to plan
But hold the power in my hands
I seldom lack to save my friends
But always lag to save myself
I let my demons win today
But yet I stand here set to slay


You've been directed by the best
And every helping hand you've turned
To live in your own perfect world
You know your sin
You know your tests
You know yourself the very best
You know the secrets that you keep
You know the pain you've buried deep
You know the way to heal yourself
You know the way you fail each test
And choose a path to what you want
Instead of taking what you need
A slave to your heart filled with greed
An eager jump for fantasy
But life's not fair
You've lived so wrong
You trapped yourself and sing your song
You know deep down your will is wrong
But still you walk in circles drawn
When you were on your darkest days
You still fall prey to your old ways
So much given, so much signs
But all you want is to feel fine
The human ways, they never change
You know for fact it cant be the same
But words like these go in and out
You couldn't care to follow suit
You're gifted teachers play with fools
You let yourself be used like tools
You crave a change yet still you use
You think you're e smart, you know the words
But seldom can you make them verbs
Your actions show you wont progress
Follow the spirits, take their tests.

You only know what you know.
You can only change if you hope to grow.
You believe in God.
You know the spirits brutal hand
Live by it. Or die by it.

Stop accepting humanity
Become the forest
Written by
Avestani  27/M/In My Head
(27/M/In My Head)   
459
 
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