You are not the one I hate. In fact, I loved that blue eye-- I saw it in my sleep I see it before me.
Your hands were not the ones I wished to escape. They were long, Strong, Kind sometimes. You gripped me tight from the inside.
Your teeth were not the ones gnashing, Tearing to shreds My tear soaked pillow marked by The mascara stained cheeks, The bloodied sheets Underneath--
No.
It wasn’t your scent From the top of your head That passed through my dulled senses On a dull afternoon, The last time I’d see you Fully awake for a while.
The blue eye poured out The finest sugar, The glittering white sand To warm me Keep me fat and glad--
Warmth that promised something far beyond The realms of possibility-- The needs of my calamity.
The blue eye dulled too eventually.
What never dulled was the brown one staring back.
You were never built for a woman like this You never looked for a woman like this either She appeared quite beautifully She rose from piles of great ash Marked your body with a thick **** And began her botched surgery The goal: Immortality. Something built to last.
She stands over your ruptured body. Blood soaks her bare hands Pours over her naked form onto her Bare feet on the cool concrete. It cracks beneath her cosmic pain, Her hellish plan.
She insists above your gutted form: ‘Blood is what tethers us Blood is the red hot beginning The staggering end Life’s dark elixir that replenishes itself It will make us whole again.’
If she drinks enough blood She will feel enough love If she lets in enough hell Rolls around in it, Coats herself in it well It will solidify and stay, The red clay, And remain and remain.
It is endurance And its skill. It's hard not to **** you herself, In her vision of permanence, But rest assured, tenderness will.
So she digs with pliers And tweezers and tools Until you come to, and scream ‘Curse you For coming too close to the open flame,
For trying to mend pain with more pain, For taking apart a body meant to be loved wholly On its own time, in its own way,’