To the tune of the song "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel

Verse 1
Hello toilet, my old friend
I've come to **** in you again
I've been waiting for a great while
This time I'm going the ex-tra mile
With a force that few have ever known
Will power alone
I'm taking...the ****...GINORMOUS

Verse 2
In struggling feels I might pass out
There is much sweat upon my brows
And a straining-pushing as such
Upon a mountain where lightning struck
Where I felt the challenge
Seemed beyond my strength
What it might take
Attempting...the ****...GINORMOUS

Verse 3
And in the end I can now feel
This force of nature makes me reel
Pushing a boulder that may not pass
Pushing a stone with such great mass
Making a log of the greatest immense size
Yes-in all my life
As this was...the ****...GINORMOUS

Verse 4
By my word-I feel-that this is it
Upon this toilet throne I sit
Feeling like an explosion from inside
With no place in my mind left to hide
And the size-like a moose now giving birth
The enormous ****...GINORMOUS

Verse 5
And my goal it now seems in sight
I give it all with all my might
In a strange vision this very moment
As this an unreal bowel movement
And soon I feel:
Like the clear shaking in the earth
That as making n' breaking waves
I'm stunned and dazed
From taking...the ****...GINORMOUS