I forget how it felt to hold you.
What it meant to have you.
So foreign, it couldn't have
been me that experienced that.

I've loved since then, but our
touch, that kind of touch.
I haven't had that in years
and I won't ever have it again.

And I've been fine with that.
I left.
But you haunt me sometimes,
not often, but enough to warn me.

How unlikely is it that...
that
was... it?
That you were it?

Because it feels likely.
There was a moment in
time when you meant
everything to me.

Is it so unlikely that
there is a timeline
where it worked out?
I guess it's more that

the touch I get from
just anyone is bland.
And to never get to
form a relationship

again. From where I'm
standing, numb,
memories of
what that

kind of
commitment
feels like,
erased.

Maybe
that's
it
for me.