I’m sorry I lied about you...
that instead of being honest,
I hid behind grief and shame.
Truth is, I was so excited to meet you
but knew in the end I couldn’t keep you.
So instead, I waited with sterile wallpaper
and on me were cold hands of a stranger
and I said a brief farewell that wasn’t any less painful.
And afterwards, I could’ve sworn I was okay
but the thought of you, I couldn’t escape
and it started to feel like the biggest mistake.
I’m sorry I lied about you...
but I made the hardest decision
I have ever made that day.
The day I lied about my abortion
and claimed it was a miscarriage.