Part I:

You broke me once,
and then twice,
and then three times,
But then I lost count.

I can remember sweet kisses you gave to me,
On swollen lips.
Tears that rolled down my purple cheek.
And the prayers I sent to God,
That went unanswered.

I remember the words "no" and "stop".
Feelings of no control.
I can still feel your warm breath,
Hovering over my exposed, naked body.

I can still remember that moment.
When I could feel everything.
Everywhere.
And it hurt.

Unbearable, excruciating pain.
It built walls to keep you out.
But you're still here.
In my head.
In my home.
In my bed.

Sometimes, I see your shadow,
Watching me get undressed.
Intruding my dreams as I sleep,
Torturing me endlessly.

Sometimes, I wake to your voice,
Telling me to love you,
And that you love me,
And you would never hurt me,
We are the perfect soulmates.
But, I still feel my spine cold on the floor,
Colored in black and blue,
And it loves you too.

I feel your sweaty body,
Draining all the life inside of me.
I used to dance and sing.
I used to laugh uncontrollably,
I used to be free.

My body is shattered,
Broken and battered.
Useless and unlovable.
Disgusting trash.

Part II:

Where is my body?
Where is my mind?

What am I missing?
What am I feeling?

Am I alive?

Why did you hurt me?
Gaslight and manipulate me?

I was a child.
You made me bleed.
I was inebriated.
You took advantage of me.
Buried me and everything I wanted to be.

Stop standing there.
Stop following me.
How ******* dare you?
Just leave me be.

I don't deserve this.
You shouldn't be here.
I need to leave.
Please don't follow me.

Part III:

I was bound to you by my silence
Even miles apart,
You silenced me once again,
When I needed to sing my truth.

So much excruciating pain.
I had to crawl out of that grave.
You screamed profanities in my brain.
And I still paved my way.

I sang my truth.
You ***** me.
You abused me.
And so did he.
And now I'm setting myself free.