-2:16 a.m-
emilenn is online
hey, are you up?
nvm
doesn't matter
there's so much I need to tell you
and at this point it doesn't matter if you're here to listen or not
so i'll start off with the heaviest thing
i love you
and right now im not quite sure what that means
but i needed to say it because i don't say it nearly enough
next thing on the list is that i miss you so much right now
and i dont know if it's the isolation getting to me or what
but i miss everything about you
your hands
and how i was always too nervous to ask if i could hold them
because i didnt know where we stood
and for some reason
something deep inside me
thought asking would make you hate me
your eyes
and the little tears of laughter that would ***** up in them
whenever i would do that impression of my old chemistry teacher
because your laugh was golden to me
and id do anything to hear it again
your smile
and how you refused to show your teeth cos you hated your braces
and how i so badly wanted to pry your lips open with mine
because your braces are so **** cute
your voice
and that raspiness it gets when you laugh too hard for too long
and how for some reason
i wanted to hug you every time your voice got like that
or maybe im just being melodramatic
and this is all too much for a conversation at 2 am
with a person whos not even here
but i need you to know how loved you are
because i haven't been told in a long time
whether or not people actually care about me
and not to **** on your family
but i figured it was the same for you
so i love you
whatever that means
*emilenn has left