i thought i had had my first love before.
but i met him - and i fell for him. and he did too.
so we loved each other. with all our broken parts.
we loved so hard yet we didn't understood each other's love.
he had that innocent dream about ending up with me.
though i had a bad feeling from the very beginning that
that was not meant to be.
we were very different from the start. but we thought that
maybe our love would be enough.
and with time we eventually realized
that we were too different to be together.
because love doesn't mean compatibility.
we learned what we want and need in a significant other.
and it hit us the hard, the things we couldn't sacrifice.
i know that my toxic sense of love was a big part
of what drove us to a dead end.
and i know that my pride has hurt him over and over.
and i know i've said that i hate him a few times.
i know that my anger is blinding and i told him
i don't even know how i feel about him anymore.
but when you strip me apart - you'll see,
never once those times did i not love him -
and i do not think there will be a time when i don't love him.
because he was my first love.
he was all my first.
the one that knew me better than anyone.
the one that i hurt one too many times.
the one that i will never forget.