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Feb 2020
So eager to please are you,
that your first reaction is to smile,
as the poisoned words leave his lips.

‘Sorry, what?’ is your second reaction,
like somehow no matter how vile,
the words are your fault, you need to apologize.

He says ‘come here’ and for the first time,
you face your inner voice that whispers ‘Run’,
like it’s standing outside your trembling body.

But you are rooted in your spot, frozen,
still a smile plastered on your lips,
as the goosebumps erupt everywhere.

He bangs his hands on the table then,
says ‘are you deaf? I said come here’,
and you begin praying desperately for a miracle.

As you start to walk towards him,
your hands extended, placating him,
you wonder if it’s fight or flight you choose.

The doorbell rings followed by excited knocking,
It's probably his friends with his birthday cake,
their presence diffuses the tension in you a bit.

You finally exhale as they rush inside,
still smiling but it doesn’t reach your eyes,
you take the cake and escape into the kitchen.

‘She’s hormonal’ his lazy voice drifts to you,
like anybody looking at you will not see,
the fear that oozes out of every pore.

The money you’ve been hiding is under the sink,
your purse still on the kitchen counter,
while they cackle watching some old videos.

You shove the money in your purse,
with your eyes fixed on the back door,
and you move towards it, no longer frozen.
Written by
Shruti Gour
178
 
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