My mind wanders In these still hours of the night To the dark corners of fear Past memories of pain, past love Wishing for rain to fall and break the silence It’s loud inside my head I know at times I’m difficult My anxiety will fill me with delusions I know you care for me in ways Ways you don’t dare speak of Because then it would be real And when it’s real then it will end You say things like it is good until it’s not But I wonder if I am good to you I know our lives have different paths Now they are similar but they can change It will be different and you may be gone I try to remind myself that now is what matters And then the tears come Because I don’t know if it does matter Nothing matters We all end up as dust in the end Somehow I can’t help but wish for us To last till we are dust of the past And that maybe our memories can dance In the rain When we are gone and all we are is dust And feel no pain