My mind is racing in circles again.
It will go on and on and on.
Every minute.
Ever hour.
Every single ******* day.
It feels like pain is the only way to break the circle.
Cause for a moment I will feel something.
For a moment I will feel whole…fine.
But only for a moment. Then all I feel is shame.
All I feel is the overwhelming fear of people finding out.
But I'm so tired of hiding all the time.
Tired of hiding the truth.
Tired of pretending to be fine.
Someone is controlling my brain.
Someone is placing these horrifying thoughts and images in my mind.
What's wrong with me.
What am I doing?
It feels like I'm trapped.
Trapped in this mess.
My mess.
I made it.
I gave it fuel.
But it's so exhausting waking up to the same numbness… the same pain every day.
My hero where are you? I think I need saving.