Opinionated; selfish; greedy
lazy, too high strung; needy.
not girly enough, tomboy
well guess what, I never asked to be your toy.

"You'll never get anywhere with an attitude like that"
First off, *******, nobody asked for your input.
Trust issues won't let me love
anxiety won't let me sleep

leave me here to burn; the rage is a parasite
and I'm spitting fire at those who get too close to the light
But there's no light here, no it's buried deep inside
getting weaker by the day, a classic case of suicide

Maybe then you'll regret it because I know I sure have
The way you talk to me, but that's how it's always been.
You start the fight, only ending when one of us end up in tears
is this how a mother and daughter are supposed to act?

I've never known any different,
paranoia watching my back like it's **** or be killed.
though I guess it is; my mind tries to suffocate me in thoughts too deep.
I can't swim, not in the tar that invades my skull,
filling my nose and leaving a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

I don't know how to vent, bottles filled with trapped darkness
swirling in vortexes that get stronger
until the bottle bursts in a dangerously beautiful explosion
that leaves my world spinning and my mind fragile like the shards
that I'm left to pick up all on my own.
even paranoia has deserted me.

instead, I am greeted by a friend named Depression,
who invites over Tired, and Anxious, and Apathetic,
Pathetic.
Is this how it's always gonna be?
No way to get help.
No way to release the demon inside me without consequence?

No help from the family who knows
the family who witnessed firsthand
the scars, the pain, the anger
the hurt.

I guess they're as shallow as I am empty.