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Jan 2020
I lose track of the days when you’re around
I am with you one night and before I know it you’ve moved in,
And at the time, I’m perfectly fine with it.
I have spilled you all over my carpets,
You’ve put a couple dents in my car,
My mother never really approved of you,
Yet you’ve been the only one to keep me warm
You never left.

It’s been a few months now that I invited you back.
It’s going well.
Some people worry a little
Those are the ones that haven’t given us this new chance.
We’re not spending all our time together anymore.
A little, after I’m back from work.
That’s it, I promise.
We can do this.
We can be normal.

It’s been a few more months
I almost lost my license because of you
But it’s not really your fault
It’ll be fine.
I knew the cop
It’ll be fine
It won’t happen again
I’m thirsty.

You’ve made me late to work too many times the last month
I’m on thin ice with my boss
I’m on thin ice with mostly everyone.
My mother asked if you’ve been around again,
She looked me in my yellow eyes and said she could smell you
I lied for you
I told her
I haven’t been near you in the longest time
Then I left her,
And I came home,
So I could just sit here
And spend my time with you.

I’m unemployed now
My mother hasn’t been calling
My friends haven’t stopped by
I’ve been going to the store numerous times a day for you
I’ve been staying up all night with you
Until I can see the sun starting to crawl into the sky.
I’m tired

When I wake up I never know what day it is
What time it is
My mouth is a desert,
I can’t tell which way up is,
I’m dizzy
The only thing that makes me feel better anymore
Is you
But I have a black eye now
And this time it’s your fault
What I thought was your unconditional love and safety is killing me.

I thought it would only be that one time with you, a “just once more”

Yet you stayed again.
And it was worse than the first time we met.
You’re all over my house that I can’t pay for
You’re in the closet
The garbage
There’s bits of my own ***** in the kitchen sink,
It’s been there for days.

I loved you but I need you to leave.
You’re poisoning me
I’m crippled
I can’t breathe.

I should’ve listened to my mother.
Tara J Williams
Written by
Tara J Williams  Miami
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