i’m trying to mend many things at once:
myself, my relationships, my environment.
my hands will shake. & i will run out
of breath. i will need to disappear for
a while to collect myself. so i can carry on
again. i will take my time to respond.
thinking about what i say with as much
scrutiny as i can muster, is a taxing task.
i am trying. i am trying with all my might,
with these broken hands, with this broken
body covered in scars no one can see.
with this broken heart bleeding,
to make right what is wrong within myself.
i will plaster these cracks behind this
mask, with your words. forever reminded
of how i can do better. and i will
keep going, with these broken bones.
these chains, i will carry whoever i can,
whoever i can save, the way i couldn’t
save myself. and i will mend whoever
i can, the way i couldn’t mend myself.
with these broken hands. with this
broken heart. with this broken body
with this broken mind. behind these
broken eyes. i have lost too many pieces
to piece myself back together. but i will
try. & i will try to put everyone i can
back together, with the pieces of myself
that are left.
& i will try, to mend what is broken.
even if i can’t be mended.