I hate you, my heart.
Why can't you learn that these feelings you cling to desperately;
Become my greatest enemy, leaving me in helpless ecstasy?
And we can we talk about your taste in men,
How it messes me over again and again-

Because I feel as if you thrive to see my discomposure,
Making my rationality as useless as cannon fodder,
With your fetish for unrequited affection,
It is as if you're blinded and deaf to a any real connection,
Yet you subvert my own rational objections to peruse a love
Rooted in self-doubt and rejection.

My brain caves to the weight of star-crossed lovers you obsess over,
And I know you just ache for him to be here-with us- and I do too,
He's the bridge to our unstable cliff-sides;
But you need to face reality,
Trust my instincts and those bad vibes,
He doesn't care.
God! Things are so tough,
Why can't being alone be enough!?

You know my insecurities caused by the cavalier passion
You place on our sleeve for all deceive,
You alone saw love that was destined to wilt,
How I find it hard to trust someone else,
Expose the shards of my true self.

You just watch as we go head first unconditionally,
Loving with a restless and reckless flippancy,
With the passion of a great symphony,
Me and you aligned perfectly in alluring clarity,
Bursting with delicious divinity,
Achieving beautiful brilliancy,
We see colours in rays of a passionate soliloquy,
Intoxication to your desolation,
All this absolute affection, met with rejection.
I don't want this!
We do not need this!
I can't bear to see you break again,
Because I'm the ones that picks up your messy pieces,
Nurses your bruises and heals your diseases,
Unleashes adhesive to stick you back in the hole in my chest-
Hoping the aching will stop if you get some rest.

The distance you feel towards him yeah it makes me depressed,
It messes with my mind, makes me so stressed,
Wondering why are you so sentimental
To boys that treat you as if you were a devil
Can't you see we have better things that we could be?
Maybe focusing on that degree,
You'd rather pull me into your warped reality:
Gentle kisses,
Notions of chivalry,
Walks across ******* beaches,
The smell of his skin,
Eyes tearing my soul to pieces,
Love with all its villainy.
You never told me, though, that this was all merely imagery,
Soon fades like a Polaroid with antiquity...

I hate you, my heart,
I can't control you,
I never could,
I'm petrified of the heartbreak you threaten to bring on us,
Your desire the epicenter to an earthquake that will shake these worn in bones...
Please don't lead us into cold decay,
For once let's keep your passions at bay and notions of love away,
For I fear this time,
We will both have a price to pay.