I was never meant to be clean Never to wear white Always tarnished or stained
First it was in green As I threw my peas to the floor Then it went to red As my face welled in anger and let out a wail
Then it was bright green yet again As grass stains tore their way up my legs And then red as my face was burned from too many days of sun
It never was anything different Red and green, red and green Stop and go Never stay Never wait Go and stop No slowing down
Maybe thatβs why Christmas is so appealing to me Even with all the empty promises At least we share a color scheme
I would turn green yet again As my face churned in jealousy For those with what I would never have Never get back And I would return to red And red and red and red Making me go go and go further away Further from my innocence My childhood The red that washed my Mother away That wiped away my innocence as it ran down my legs for the first time The same red that spilled from my arm as I shakily held the knife in my hand
I was never to be clean again Too much red had come in between With no green in sight Nothing to keep me moving foreword Just stopped. Waiting. For what, I will never know Perhaps, for red to mean love Or passion And no longer for death and destruction Anger Maybe someday But not today. Today Iβm still stopped. Just waiting for my time. Forever stained.