why do i apologize for something i didn't do
then i wouldn't apologize just to keep it cool?
why do i say yes when i really want to say no?
why do i say no because i want to be alone?

why do i say 'that's crazy!' but i believe it
then become suspicious when i know i shouldn't?
why do i cry like it's a never-ending pain?
why do i smile when it feels like i'm hurting again?

i am not a saint or a doctor
i can't heal on my own, got nothing to offer
but there's a fire inside my bedroom
yet it doesn't stop the darkness that looms