coffee
or what i think is coffee
when i get coffee it is sweet
yet has the bitter characteristics of coffee at the end
my mouth is dry but i sip again and again
longing for energy
longing to feel something, anything

the caffeine jolts me awake
along with the sugar
i'm buzzing with energy
is this happiness? i don't know
but i enjoy it anyway

when it's gone i miss it
it leaves me devoid of energy
i need it again
again
and again

but i stopped myself, it cost too much
and i don't need to be addicted to it

if i did that
then
why couldn't i stop myself from loving you?