I wish I felt this good sober...
I wake up every morning feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on my chest.
I have a heavy heart, filled with regret and a heavy head constantly filled with what ifs and self doubt.
I roll over to text you back but see no reply.
I can't bring myself get out of bed again.
I sit up and put my head between my knees and just breathe.
I sit there and regret all the the stupid things I said and did the night before.
Wondering when things started to get this bad.
I'm starting to shut everyone out again.
I haven't been sober in awhile.
I can’t tell if the drugs make me happy or sad.
I just know they make me feel numb.
And I know the drugs, they make me overeat.
Which makes me feel like shit because I already hate my body.
I don’t know why I continue to do this.
Why i continue to act like I’m not hurt.
I try to drown it out and mask the feelings
In liquor, THC, and with men who see me as nothing.
I am so lost
I don't know who I am
I don’t want you to hurt me again
I’m so tired of being me