I'm not ok
Is that the first step I should take
Should I admit to my mistakes
Should I reach for another bottle
Cry about how much this aches
I'm not ok
But it's never going to end
Maybe all I needed was a friend
But now I'm holding to this blade
Tempted to cut again
Because every time I look into the mirror
I just want to ******* scream
I swear to God that I still hear them
And they keeps whispering to me
How my death is drawing near
I'm not as happy as I seem
So listen closely
I don't think you should love me
I only use you when I'm lonely
Wrap your arms around my neck
And start kissing me slowly
It's ******* crazy
I only think about it lately
My death
And I don't think someone exists
Out there that can still save me
I am sick
I admit that I'm not ok
An atheist that drops to his knees
Sometimes to pray
And I scream until there's nothing left
To say
Cry into my hands until my lips start turning grey
But every time I lay to go to sleep
I keep getting haunted in my dreams
Gasping and I'm sweating
Trapped inside the devil's schemes
"You're worthless, you should die"
Tearing down my self-esteem
So listen closely
I don't think you should love me
I always act so coldly
I'll smile to your face
But know that I am phony
And yes I'm crazy
I think about it
Much more lately
My death
And I don't want someone to
Save me