O’ world curious traveller,
Atop the Millenium bridge,
I know St Paul’s is so beautiful,
But try and keep an eye on your kids.

O’ delicious corona,
You look so divine, I’ll admit.
But why are you a whole ******* tenner?!
Are these guys all *******?!

O’ lost Northern bumbler,
Trying ‘down saaaaaath’ for a bit,
Stop standing to the left of the escalator,
You're destroying the system you *****.

O’ impatient young cycler,
Dressed in tight lycra and ****,
You’re going to try and squeeze through those buses?
You’re a ******* for thinking you’ll fit.

O’ excited tube takers,
Your theatrical energy is lit,
But please stop singing in unison,
All should be silent this trip.

To live in this concrete jungle,
You’ll pay extortionate rent for a pit,
But at least you’ll be living the high-life,
Oh wait? I’m poor. And depressed.