a year lost
stolen
taken from me
and now
a year later
i'm still recovering....

i took a few brave steps
to drag myself out
of the hurricane in my head
i was so ruled by fear...
but i conquered it

and as a reward
a few months of bliss
emotions soared high
i could've done anything
on top of the world

but eventually i adjusted
stabilized
then started dropping off
going numb
feeling cold

i was convinced nothing mattered
haunted and plagued by the past
depression took root
everything was wrong
i'd flatlined

to pull myself back
towards reality
i've been searching
for pleasure, pain
anything

i'm reckless
i'm destructive
I just want to feel
Feel my pulse, my breath
Feel the bliss, the wounds
Everything. All of it.
I desperately seek a reminder
I'm trying to wake myself from this nightmare
Jar myself into reality
Because I keep finding myself questioning
If I'm even still alive...?