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what i did instead
the coffee's too bitter and i'm losing my tether
to the world of dreams grounding me to reality.
i think i want to sleep but the coffee's too bitter,
and my mind takes a thought and runs with it.
i'm feeling it, feeling hopeless bloom in my chest again.
i think that i don't care for once.
****, sadness won't let me rest again.
i'll just fail for once. let me fail for once.
i'm tired but the coffee tastes bitter on my tongue.
i should be studying but i'm getting so hung
over my spinning mind. it feels nice to unwind
when you're so high strung.
but i'm falling and falling into this black hole
and i fear that i don't really mind it.
so where's the ******* point,
where's the light dawning down on me?
where's my epiphany?
bitter coffee makes me bitter, makes me sadder,
makes me think harder 'bout where i'm supposed to be.
now it's 1 am and i can't sleep.
the ice has melted in the cup.
i'm self admittedly in love with
the idea of not giving a ****.
- i forgot i even wrote this till i found it in my notes two months later
- wrote this when i should've been studying for my calc finals (which i was gloriously failing)
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