dear world,

or.

at least,
this one,
where nobody knows me,
where nobody can really hurt me,
because,
how am I supposed to feel hurt by someone or something I don't even know?

anyways,
i'm just.
so tired.
i can't even sleep properly anymore.
i wake up the second i feel somewhat conscious,
i can't deal with the ******* of being everybody's scapegoat.
and when they need help,
i'm the person they turn to.

just.

even at this point in my life,
why am I still so indecisive?
I don't want to live,
but I'm too scared to use the painful ways of dying.

this may sound like another typical dramatic sad girl story,
but.
for me,
for someone that was so happy,
for someone that was SO confident.
so confident about how much she valued her life,
and anyone who tried,
tried to end their own,
was a ****** that needed to get some help,
somehow,
overdosed on painkillers.



intentionally.

and all I got,

was

the inability to hear for a week.

i don't know who or what's keeping me here;
I've lost all hope for my perfect story.
i'm sorry if i'm scaring you away,
hell,
i'm scaring myself.

but,
i'm probably just 'exaggerating' at this point.



                                 -YYC