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Jun 2019
I'm staring down at my arm holding a knife,
It may be only in my head, but I'm balancing my life,
Weighing out if it's worth the pain,
That I've been dealing with, making me more insane,
I've been ******* over so many times, by people who said they cared,
Well, maybe it's time I give up and stop trying so hard,
Because I've taken all the medications they want to give me,
I've done years and years, so much talking in therapy,
And still I'm here, contemplating the end of it all,
Because there's just so many times you can get up after a fall,

And it's a lie when they say you can always dust off your knees,
After laying on the ground, getting up and praying for release,
Because I've done my time, being miserable and in hurt,
And I just want some relief from sitting in the dirt,

Someone once told me you can always call me when you don't feel safe,
Well I don't want to be a burden, because I'd be calling every day,
Because lately I've been feeling down, feeling wrong,
About the past and all the things people have done,
And yeah, I'm more of a sinner than a saint at the end of the day,
But that's just the role that these deeds have cast me in to play,
For being abused at such young of an age,
And now I hate myself and want to pay,
Cosmically, permanently, with a smile on my face,
Because it would all be over, I can't keep up this pace,

The pills,
The thrills,
The ****,
The greed,
The hookups,
The makeups,
The alcohol,
The temptation of it all,
And everything in between,
I want to atone for my deeds,

It's a lie when they say you can always dust off your knees,
After laying on the ground, getting up and praying for release,
Because I've done my time, being miserable and in hurt,
And I just want some relief from sitting in the dirt.
Written by
Val Graz  31/F
(31/F)   
458
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