We rap about ***, drugs, and violence But when is the time that we discuss real issues that we as a society feel the need to hold back in silence, like state of the mind and suicidal violence Mental health is the most important kind of wealth We’re too busy caught in ourselves that we don’t realize our loved ones are drowning with thoughts of suicide and blaming themselves When I was 13 I wrote my first suicide letter and downed a whole bottle of pills thinking that if I was dead, life around me would be better My mom found me in bed half conscious with tears rolling down her face Suddenly she was put in a race How could I put her in that place? She carried me to the car The whole ride she’s telling me not to go too far Making sure i don’t lose sight of the light Telling me everything is going to be alright Hoping for the best and throwing away the rest My best friend visited me in the hospital and she wrote me a letter. She said my mom broke down on the phone asking how could I feel so alone to the point I wanted to be 6 ft below In my mind I didn’t know I felt like I had no place to go I had so many people that loved me and it still wasn’t enough for me to not want to let go I remember breaking down to my sister and my best friend the second time I tried to put my life to an end Angry at the world for being so cold and unfair Asking why I couldn’t just die and leave my final goodbyes right then and there We all broke down and cried It seems like every day I question why I’m still here when it’s clear that I could care less if today was the day that I took my last breath Innocent lives full of life that aren’t ready to die being taken away everyday, when I’m the one that should be put in their place Despite of it all, I still believe that there is light at the end of this dark hall I've taken too many falls just to give in The only way to go now is up