There isn’t a day I didn’t hope
To come out of the delusions
The world has thrown at me.
Every day has been a struggle
For something more than just survival
More than just success
And it was to be loved.
I’ve given my all in every situation
To come out victorious as well as good
Yet here I am
Still feeling as miserable as ever
Breathing less and less freely
Surrounded by success
That had the stench of darkness
Which strengthened with every surmounted endeavor of my life
For no matter how hard I’ve been trying
To be a good guy
I still feel like
I’m living in a delusional world
Where I’ll forever be the one
Everybody
Loves to hate
Hugs to steal
Talks to trick
Touches to taint
And possibly do much more
Than my eyes can make out.
I have no clue as to why
I can’t overcome this growing feeling
That is evolving into a severe reality
With each passing day.
But after so many years of pain
I think I finally know the answer.
Not all success stories can be treasured
Only the ones that hearts feel affection for.
Though I’ve changed a lot
Maybe I’m still wanting to be
Loved or hugged too hard
Talked or touched too much
And maybe it’s time
For me to stop trying to be good
And start trying to be who I am.