Am I fooling myself when I start to feel again.
can't I remain numb until my times end .
cause this feeling is tearing me up, unwilling to mend.
today and yesterday it started all over again .
why can't I be my only friend .  
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This negativity has become a part of me .
once in a blue moon it rises to be .
and I see it when everything around me.
starts fade away like the bubbles in my tea .
just lonely as can be .
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Something has changed .
somehow I ceased to being deranged.
everything is starting to feel estranged.
I want my box , where it's cold and grey.
that's where I'll remain , I'll stay , where I get away.
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Please forgive my heart for spilling .
it was overflowing with the process of healing.
some times it's worth not just having a wall , but a ceiling.
to stop the overwhelming feeling.
that I'll never touch another soul , cause you tore me open with to many holes .
and even now my heart continues leaking .
it's all so decieving.