you know when you wake up from a nightmare and you’re
sweating frantic terrified
you feel like you’re going to ***** your own heart
that is what is feels like living in an abusive home
always on
E D G E

who’s going to come through my door tonight?
the alcoholic? Who only came out when the drug addict was gone
the drug addict? Who only came out when the alcoholic was asleep
the infant? Who came every night for bedtime
or the depressed brother? Who only came when he was lonely

sometimes I’d look outside and see the trees fly in the wind
hoping that someday the wind would take me
but then I remember the infant
and the brother
and it brings me back to my bedroom where I am forced to stay
because me leaving for my safety
would be their safety leaving

and I can’t
so I stay
and I sweat frantically
waiting
until I see who will come through my door