maybe if I didn't see you that summer day
maybe if I didn't hear your laugh
maybe if I didn't talk to you the first day we met
maybe if I didn't ask for your name
maybe if I didn't wish to be your friend
maybe if I didn't follow you around all summer
maybe if I didn't see you in the hallway so much
maybe if I didn't buy you things
maybe if I didn't get your friends to like me
maybe if I didn't see you stare at me when 'I wasn't looking'
maybe if I didn't kiss you in front of the courtyard
maybe if I didn't ask you out on my birthday for luck

maybe if I didn't let you in

maybe if I didn't hold your hand so tight
maybe if I didn't text you so late at night
maybe if I didn't talk so much
maybe if I didn't call so often when you were sad
maybe if I didn't spend so much money on our two-month gift
maybe if I didn't tell you so much
maybe if I didn't smoke so many cigarettes

then

maybe
just maybe

I would have been better off.