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Mar 2019
What is anxiety it makes me cry
I'm very withdrawn and so very shy
I keep to myself and I pull away
Far from all people that want me to stay

I don't know why I don't know how
I thought I'd understand long before now
It hides way down deep with in my soul
And in the depth of my heart it burns a hole

It's something that no one can understand
Because we are liabeled we are always band
We not like you we all stand alone
We never choose it how could we of known

There was a time that all seemed ok
But in an instant it was taken away
Then we were faced with a life of hell
And only find comfort inside our shell

We are different not quiet like you
But the sad reality is if you only knew
We are the same just so loving and caring
But something inside is frightening and flaring

It's a horrid mixture of emotions and fears
And we are tossed around in a violent oceans
Of panic and stress and deep down depression
With endless hours of endless sessions

We are stuck on an endless roller coaster ride
With demons and dragons deep down inside
Its ups and downs and mental torture
My mind and emotions is my books author

The anger and agony I keep deep inside
It always comes out I wish I could hide
Away from the world the ones I love most
The ones I love dearly the ones I need close

I live in a world of unimaginable horror
Please make it stop make it go till tomorrow
My emotions keep swirling my mind is a mess
I battle to breathe I have tightness of chest

I clinchs and I murmur I stumbled and stutter
I hurt and I scream and I cry and I mutter
I walk to and frow and I groan and I cry
Oh please someone just help me know why

It comes in an instant just out of no where
My emotions of anger once more does flare
I feel like I boarder on mental insanity
Even my hands are wet and clammy

My head is a whirlpool of fear and frustration
It hurts and it screams am I in damnation
Why can't it stop or subside for a while
Am I been punished it's so evil and vile

What have I done what did I do
Why can't I be normal just like you
Where is my peace and quiet I once had
What went wrong that it ended up so bad

There's no one to turn to there's no safe place
No where to run so the house I'll just pace
I sit and I rock and I cry and I'm steaming
The voice of reason gives me no meaning

That little voice that should guide right
Like all my energy again took flight
Now I'm just left with the voices of evil
It's like my body belongs to the devil

So again I'm hurting I'm ripped apart
Another ones about to start
I close my eyes and try wish it away
But like the rest I know it will stay
Nadine
Written by
Nadine  45/F/Gauteng, South Africa
(45/F/Gauteng, South Africa)   
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