I am haunted by the things that embarrass me
Every mistake, every misstep
Comes rushing out
As I lay in bed, trying to sleep
And I’m desperate to cry aloud
And I try to pretend
That I vacuum them away
Into my own Pandora’s box
But that’s the trouble—
It’s irresistible to open—
And I fight the memories as they flood forward
And I close my eyes and squirm—
How can I make them stop?
I can’t sleep for reliving every memory
Of things I wish I’d never done
The things that I question
Did I make a stupid choice
Or did he—
And I blush and I curl up
And I feel so alone
And I can’t forget those awful things
And I think it’s ruining me