You asked me before we broke up what my favorite memory of us was, and I didn’t know which memory to pick. We’ve shared so many moments together that it’s difficult to pick just one sliver out of a hundred spectacular moments with you.

If I had to choose, it’d be whenever we would lay awake at night and just talk. Our legs intertwined. My head resting on your chest as you pulled me closer and closer in, so close that I could hear the symphony going on inside of you.

I know near the end of our relationship there was a patch where I wanted to sleep, and I really regret getting upset over that. When I have moments of loneliness, I think about those times the most.

Laughing, cuddling, hypotheticals, passionate ***... all of it. How your arms around me made me feel safe; like all my anxiety was pushed outside of that room. Sleeping next to you, I knew I’d be taken care of, whether that be from tornados or my own self-doubts.

I fear some nights because I know I’ll be alone in that big bed, and I know I won’t have you to text.

I won’t have you at all.