I want to drown myself
in ecstasy tablets
I want to fill a room with
marijuana smoke
so thick you can't see past your fingers
and fall back onto the bed
forever
I want to eat mushrooms
and lose myself
in a whole new world
and sit on the front steps of freedom
as the sun
sends cotton candy clouds
into an explosion of falling birds
I want to drink chemicals
straight from the vat
so that I can watch myself **** blood
and wonder what happened
last night
as I lay puking my insides out
all over the bathroom floor
I want you to blow smoke in my ears
and bake brownies
to fill the hole
in my stomach
and I want you to sit down with me
and watch everything
melt