i can't tell you that you'll be okay
because that would be lying
i don't know if anything
will be okay,
and honestly
i can't say for sure that you'll make it to college
but i can say this.
i can tell you that you're strong
that you've made it this far
that you are loved,
even if you don't think so
i can't predict the future
i can't tell you when you'll have your next breakdown
i can tell you, though,
that you can make it through
the future doesn't matter,
not right now
and you have made it through breakdowns before
so prove yourself to the universe
once again.
prove that you are a survivor,
determined to live
even when your own mind
is telling you to die
even if you're not okay,
if in ten years
you're still in the same dark place-
that doesn't matter,
not right now, at least
right now
you are alive
you are still here, against the odds
you aren't okay,
and i'm not going to lie to you
but you are getting there.
slowly,
and painfully,
but the end is in sight.
so please,
be there to see it.

survive.