If I could **** myself without leaving a bloodstain on the white carpet,
I would as long as I didn't have to stare at these four walls of my apartment,
Not one more day in complete and utter isolation,
Without a lover, friend, or companion,
Oh if I had a bottle of pills I'd down them all,
If there were enough stairs, I'd fall, fall, fall,
climb up to the roof and jump and fly,
Because here I am alone, barely getting by,
I push away those I love, and cherish those who get off on me,
I'm their little play toy, and they invade me with their armies,
Here alone in between these four walls,
I'm deader than a corpse, but not a doll,
Please use me in any way, as long as I can feel,
Just for a moment not so alone in my appeal,
Because just I'm stuck here in flesh and bone,
Doesn't mean I always have to be alone,
Just send me a way that doesn't end in crimson on snow,
And I'll be gone before dawn's light can show,
I call out night after night with rarely an answer,
And when they do it's for a night and they retreat fast and faster,
And the visits of my loved ones they grow shorter,
But me, I'm a glutton for punishment, so I grow heavier,
No one can love this damsel in her dungeon,
Spinning wool for a never showing master,
All I want is someone to love me for all my faults,
But all do is show one, just one, and my knights bolt,
Slain by the demon that is the shadow in my soul,
With silken hair of corn, that's my nightmares coal,
So bring me an out that ends with no blood,
And I'll be gone before the rising of the sun,
Please use me in any way, as long as I can feel,
Just for a moment not so alone in my appeal,
Because just I'm stuck here in flesh and bone,
Doesn't mean I always have to be alone,
Just send me a way that doesn't end in crimson on snow,
And I'll be gone before dawn's light can show.
I guess I need to not sleep and not take my meds more often if I write **** like this? lol