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Jan 2019

Am listening to my heart
And its full of echoes
Echoes of memories of truth
Yet i live in a world of pure deceit
I once was full of vigor
And earnest zeal to fight
But now am a shell
A remnant of my former self
Hardened by the scorching life suns
I miss my younger self
That guy had his life  figured out
People think am smiling
But all I do is open my mouth a little
To catch breath when am suffocating inside
Yet I laugh hard and loud
To convince myself that all is well
I dare myself to walk straight
But their eyes betray what they think about me
Yes I am a lot of things to a lot of people
A clinician who gives hope to some
A miserable resilient friend
The guy with a broken engagement
That dude with expensive taste
A relentless prayer worrior
The heartbreaker
But as I said before
Its what I am to them,
And honestly speaking
I  don't know who I am anymore
I used to have my life drawn
Now I don't even dare sketch it
I have not yet given up
But am also not sure I care anymore
Now am just a perpetual procrastinator
I have been shrinking daily
And now my skin is buggy
Sometimes I feel like shadying it off
I am a disappointment to myself
Ever busy yet achieving no result
Sometimes I get busy in bed
Not in the way you are thinking
I get busy summoning energy to wake up
And that takes some time
See I fell in love some day back
Guess I fell alone
She keeps me  busy marktiming
But hasn't allowed me to march
We I need to move
But she tells me to wait.
But what is she waiting for
She still lies to me with a straight face
And she isn't sorry for that
If she doesn't want to let me go
Why not march with me
If she doesn't want to march with me
Why keep me marktiming with her
Honestly am tired
And am letting go now
Am letting go of everything
And am picking up my pen again
And dating my paper into an everlasting poetry
Meyhem, stuck, love, heart broken, desolate
Written by
Shady Teddy  Masii, Kenya
(Masii, Kenya)   
   Xallan and Rich Hues
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