I brush my teeth and stare at the blood from my sensitive gums, pretending it's from my wrist Intentionally charge my phone with the wire across my neck pretending it can choke me to death Anything that would make me feel like I'm close to taking my life Also stand on the edge of the twenty-fourth floor of some hotel room So high but still feels like drowning Or stay underwater until I can't breathe no more So deep but still feels like falling
But no, I'm afraid to die I'm afraid not to see the people that in my funeral will cry They may be just three but I hold them so dearly I'm afraid to let them know that their presence is not enough To fill the void of darkness that's consuming me inside. Because they are enough but the darkness is too much.
So I'll just keep on practicing death Until it will finally come and get me.
It's the anxiety that pulls us to the darkness. It's the people we love that gives us a little bit of the light they have for themselves.