disappointment.
cold, cruel, crushing disappointment
crashes over me like a wave,
threatening to drown me,
with it's choking embrace.

this is what happens,
i tell myself—
this is what happens when you let someone in,
this is what happens when you feel too much,
this is what happens when you let your guard down.

i thought we might've had something,
small and fleeting as it may be,
a piece of driftwood,
something i could cling on,
but i was wrong.

it finally dawned on me,
on a cold winter's day,
when the sun peeked out behind the clouds,
and my world stayed dark in every way;
you could not be my salvation.

how can it be possible,
for you —or anyone— for that matter,
to love me —bruised and battered— a girl who
cannot find anything to love about herself?
how can you find a reason to accept me...

when i cannot even accept myself?