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Jan 2019
good enough
two words little words
they grab hold of my thoughts
this body is now on autopilot controlled by them
they knitpick at this casing
"it is unfitting and disgusting"
is what this dictator screams
what once was so painful to hear
is now a symphony to my ears
nodding my head to the beat
the fingers move on their own
they trail up to my mouth and past my teeth
they tickle the back of my throat and grip hard and pull and pull
they rip out every bit of joy from the inside until i am an empty well
next the needle dances along my face
it twirls around my lips and pulls in tight
it's as if this is a romantic waltz
that is until my stomach yells
i realize the true purpose of the pretty ribbons sealing me shut
"this is how to be like them"
it echos for a short moment and i question it until she repeats him
"you weren't good enough"
once the door opens they all poor out
a flood of every whisper and shout
"you'll never be good enough"
"not pretty enough"
"not smart enough"
"not thin enough"
"not enough"
and the battle begins again
to be hallow is to be beautiful
to be beautiful is to be small
to be small is to be fragile
to be fragile is to be empty
to be empty is to be killing yourself
to be killing yourself is to be good enough
aaron
Written by
aaron  18/Trans Male
(18/Trans Male)   
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