Nov 2018
Verse 1
It's been so long since
I've talked with you
You know I've been
deep in despair
And just as much as
I wish it wasn't true,
I've felt like you haven't been
with me there
to comfort me when I
need it most,
to let me know you
really care
But now I'm thinking,
"What if I was the ghost?
What if I wasn't being fair?"
I regret all that I did,
and I'll do anything I can
to fix this
CHORUS
I wanna march around the city
of Jericho
I wanna blow the trumpets and
make these walls tumble
I'll shout as loud as I can to
let you know I'm here,
so don't you shed a tear
I won't be going anywhere
for a while
I'll stay in the promised land
and I won't miss your smile
I promise you to never again
throw this away
And let me tell you why
with this simple phrase
I love you
Verse 2
All those times that I've
neglected you,
just the thought of it
breaks my heart
I did some things I knew
I shouldn't do,
and over time,
we drifted apart
I forgot to tell you just
how much,
how much you really
mean to me
And now Iām hoping
it's not too late
to go back to where
I need to be
I'm hoping that this is
not the end
I'll do everything in my power
to make amends
CHORUS
Bridge
And when all the cement
starts to crack,
and all the bricks and the stones
are under attack,
I'll be ready to
run inside
I'll make sure to
hold you tight
I'll find you and
take your hand
We'll make it out of
the dust and the sand
And I'll be sure that
we don't bend
again
We won't end....
CHORUS (2 times)
It's been so long since
I've talked with you
You know I've been
deep in despair
And just as much as
I wish it wasn't true,
I've felt like you haven't been
with me there
to comfort me when I
need it most,
to let me know you
really care
But now I'm thinking,
"What if I was the ghost?
What if I wasn't being fair?"
I regret all that I did,
and I'll do anything I can
to fix this
CHORUS
I wanna march around the city
of Jericho
I wanna blow the trumpets and
make these walls tumble
I'll shout as loud as I can to
let you know I'm here,
so don't you shed a tear
I won't be going anywhere
for a while
I'll stay in the promised land
and I won't miss your smile
I promise you to never again
throw this away
And let me tell you why
with this simple phrase
I love you
Verse 2
All those times that I've
neglected you,
just the thought of it
breaks my heart
I did some things I knew
I shouldn't do,
and over time,
we drifted apart
I forgot to tell you just
how much,
how much you really
mean to me
And now Iām hoping
it's not too late
to go back to where
I need to be
I'm hoping that this is
not the end
I'll do everything in my power
to make amends
CHORUS
Bridge
And when all the cement
starts to crack,
and all the bricks and the stones
are under attack,
I'll be ready to
run inside
I'll make sure to
hold you tight
I'll find you and
take your hand
We'll make it out of
the dust and the sand
And I'll be sure that
we don't bend
again
We won't end....
CHORUS (2 times)
This song is about neglecting someone you love and care deeply about, feeling the guilt of it, and making a promise to them to never do so again. I wrote the song when I was about 15-16 years old, originally about my straight best friend who I was obliviously in love with at the time; back then, I somehow deducted from a dream I had about her and the fact that we'd been drifting apart, that I had neglected her as a friend (which, in a way, was true - because she knew that, at an earlier point in our friendship, I'd gotten an intense urge to kiss her on the lips during one of our sleepovers, which I never acted on). So, to make up for it, I decided that spending a lot more time with her would solve that problem. Needless to say, that didn't pan out for me as well as I'd hoped.
Reading back over the lyrics a few months ago (having long been over the first girl), I realized that they still applied to my life in some way; this time, I was and still am (knowingly) in love with a pansexual nonbinary individual, and the reason that I felt I was neglecting them was because there were certain limitations/insecurities I had, that were holding me back from seeing the possibility that I could take care of them and be their person. One of them being that I don't have my license or a car at 22, and all my folks have jobs/other commitments; the other one being that some of our interests differ from each other, so I didn't know if we would mesh well as a couple because of that.
I have somewhat worked through the latter insecurity, however; one of their biggest interests is cosplay, which I've never been into, and obviously, a big part of that is acting. Now that I'm running a fan film production company called the Rilaya Indie Project (and I believe they would be a perfect Riley, which I have expressed to them and they've been enthusiastic about), I have found some common ground there.
Now the license thing, I'm still working on. I still have a big fear of possibly hurting myself or others on the road, but I am determined to get my license and a car so that I can see my adorable enby more often.
And now, for some Fun Facts:
1. I have a video on YouTube of me singing this song completely a cappella - which I don't normally do because I have an intense fear of singing in front of people. I don't have very many videos on my Channel at the moment, so if you just search my name on YouTube, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
2. The line "We won't end" originally read "'Cause, my friend," because I was vaguely aware of the romantic feelings I had for my straight best friend back when I wrote the song, and I remember adamently pushing any notion of those feelings to the back of my mind whenever they came up. This was just one of the ways I did it, I guess!
3. I plan to name one of my future kids after this song when I'm older, paired with Martin as a middle name
Reading back over the lyrics a few months ago (having long been over the first girl), I realized that they still applied to my life in some way; this time, I was and still am (knowingly) in love with a pansexual nonbinary individual, and the reason that I felt I was neglecting them was because there were certain limitations/insecurities I had, that were holding me back from seeing the possibility that I could take care of them and be their person. One of them being that I don't have my license or a car at 22, and all my folks have jobs/other commitments; the other one being that some of our interests differ from each other, so I didn't know if we would mesh well as a couple because of that.
I have somewhat worked through the latter insecurity, however; one of their biggest interests is cosplay, which I've never been into, and obviously, a big part of that is acting. Now that I'm running a fan film production company called the Rilaya Indie Project (and I believe they would be a perfect Riley, which I have expressed to them and they've been enthusiastic about), I have found some common ground there.
Now the license thing, I'm still working on. I still have a big fear of possibly hurting myself or others on the road, but I am determined to get my license and a car so that I can see my adorable enby more often.
And now, for some Fun Facts:
1. I have a video on YouTube of me singing this song completely a cappella - which I don't normally do because I have an intense fear of singing in front of people. I don't have very many videos on my Channel at the moment, so if you just search my name on YouTube, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
2. The line "We won't end" originally read "'Cause, my friend," because I was vaguely aware of the romantic feelings I had for my straight best friend back when I wrote the song, and I remember adamently pushing any notion of those feelings to the back of my mind whenever they came up. This was just one of the ways I did it, I guess!
3. I plan to name one of my future kids after this song when I'm older, paired with Martin as a middle name
