the only sound i remember is my feet colliding with the pavement.

over and over and over again.



when its over, theres a police officer in my home.

he looks unusual standing in my living room.

i let him handcuff me while my father, a retired officer himself, looks away in disgust.

when he takes me outside to his police car, my neighbor is outside.

she makes eye contact with me and quickly looks away.


this is my life.

it’s euphoric, its dreary, its beautiful and miserable all at once.

it’s sleeping on hard mattresses reading words engraved in psych ward walls.

it’s the low glow of motel lights and it’s kissing the lips of my best friend who i’m so desperately in love with. it’s spilling our hearts out on her bed and wishing we were older.

where do i go from here?