Late summer 2018,
There I stood
Waiting in line for the toilet at a subterranean bus terminal
And I was so in love with you I thought I’d throw up

My legs hadn’t shaken like that since I was a panicky thirteen-year old

I can’t take this
It’s fantastic and lovely
And a perfectly lukewarm, relatable teenage cliche

Perhaps I’ll write a poem about it and post online

But the truth is
I can’t ******* take this
Not at all

I’m so sorry
I didn’t mean to fall so hopelessly, pathetically in love with you

I haven’t felt like this in all my ******* life

You’re standing out there
And I just want to run out the door and yell that I can’t
For the life of me
Get you out of my head

But instead I’m in here
And I think I’ll *** my pants
Or slam my head in the wall
Or that my heart might,
Just might
Break my ribs and bust out through my chest and into the head of the man standing before me
If nothing happens soon