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Sep 2018
Do you still need me the way I need you
I'm still thinking bout how I let you go
And I know
I'm doing this cause I no longer deserve
The love and care I myself
Didn't show
Do you still think any good of me
When you stare into darkness
Before you sleep
The way I drown in sorrow
Even when I try to be stronger
It finds a way in, seeps

I can no longer feel the weight
Of the world
I'm trying to let go of
But I let go slow
I want to smile at the thought
That you're better, even if
It's without me
I want you to be happy
Even without me
It renders me hurt
To realise that I have been
So blind
Out of my right mind
That I have made you see me as
The opposite of happiness

It's only been a few days since we've
Said goodbye, without anger
We even said we still loved each other
And I know when we're able to do that,
That you're serious, you're leaving my side
I'm saddened
I cry every single time
A song comes on that we used to sing to
I can't game because I'd always lane with you
I'm left here
I'm glad you're doing better
I want to genuinely be happy that leaving me
Was a good decision
I'm glad you're gaining weight
I'm glad that you're meeting new people
I'm glad that though I am torn up, serrated inside
Watching my friends kissing their brides
Flooding the floor with eyes that don't dry
Wanting desperately to be able to try

Through all that
I am learning to love you from here
I'm glad I was lucky enough to receive love
From someone as special as you are
To me
I'm glad I was reminded of what it felt like
To be cared for even when I was ****
That says something about what I meant to her

Through all this
I am happy and
I am sorry
And sooner or later I will be able to accept
That I was no good for you

Please be happy, Trish. I miss and love you.
Aidan A
Written by
Aidan A  24/M/Malaysia
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