I want to give you clear instructions on how to make the blood bead up. You start with an edge, blunt is fine, but sharper is better. Then, you choose a side, the one less scarred is usually best. Once you’ve chosen, pull the skin taut, it’ll make the slice easier. Then draw the tip of your object of choice across the skin. Do it over and over, until the proper amount of depth is achieved to create BBs of blood ebbing from the new line in on your hip. Move on to a different section, continuing to slice until your leg is sufficiently covered in rubies. Rinse item, tend wound(s), and repeat the next time you feel numb inside or like you might explode.
Please be aware this poem contains references to self-harm and mental illness. DO NOT READ if you feel this will cause you great distress. And please, if you are in distress, ask for help! Things do get better :)