He was mad again.
I could hear it in the way he answered the phone with a stern "Hello."
I didn't understand
"What did I do?"
"It's fine," he repeated over and over
Yet, it was not fine.
As the call ended and my cheeks continued to stain with dry tears just like every time before.
I never understood
It felt like I was drowning
Like I had dug my own emotional grave and didn't notice it was already seven feet deep.
yet, he said he loves me...

Is this love?

Yet, you don't tell me you love me
But, it feels like you love me more than he ever will
Yet I stayed with the other
Even though he makes me cry
Even though there are nights I cannot recall and bruises that seem to stay even after they have faded away
Maybe I told you that I loved him because it was easier than admitting I was scared
Maybe I told you I loved him because it was easier than asking for help
Maybe I told you I loved him because it was true...
...but deep down we both knew.