7th grade, she told me,
"I don't want to live,"
I can't take it as a joke.
The fear of goodbyes.

8th grade, a friend of a friend,
It could've been him,
The way her face contorted
As she said goodbye.

I lost sleep, just to talk.
Would it be the end,
If I left my broken friends?
I lost sleep, for them.

In 9th grade, he told me,
I made him say it,
"I will see you tomorrow."
I said that nightly.

A promise. It meant hope.
The worst days' nights,
I'd say it again, with love.
It was a promise.

Words are everything here,
One mistake, it's over.
I may not hear his voice again
If I don't sway him.

Pressure, is this love now?
I'm so scared, always.
He came first, after all this.
I had to leave him.

Feeling selfish, alone,
I had to leave him.
Now getting close, major fear,
Terminal goodbyes.

I'll love you, for a while,
I might not get close,
It's overwhelming, dear god,
The fear of goodbyes.